Seven

Lately, all I've been wanting to do is sleep. I have no energy because I'm on the South Beach Diet, which eliminates carbs that I'm acclimated to.  Phase one eliminates all carbohydrates from your diet..... no flour, sugar, grains, fruits, and some veggies. You can imagine how this has affected my foodie lifestyle!! Phase 2 allows you to add some fruits and whole grains back into the diet (apples and oatmeal thank God!) And phase 3 is a maintenance program. So for the past two weeks I've consumed 0 carbs, and if you didn't learn this equation in Algebra II.......

 0 Carbs=0 Energy.....0 Energy=Frequent napping.....Frequent napping=No Life

For a girl raised on pasta, bread, grits, potatoes, and Fuji apples, I am quite proud to have abstained this long. You may ask, "Why, O' Perfect One, do you feel you need to torture yourself on this diet?" And I may reply, "Well, reader, my cousin and I plan to go to South Beach, Miami with our dear friend Ashton. And we all decided to jump on the South Beach bandwagon so that we can be sexy in Miami...... in December no less! 

(Also, I have some extra lovin' that I don't think looks so lovely)" 

And although I'm sure only 1/3 of the group actually stuck to the plan (isn't it obvious?), here I am at Week 3 enjoying low glycemic index (GI) carbs like sweet potatoes and grapefruits.

The program promises substantial weight loss (8-13 lbs. in the first two weeks and 2 lbs per week after that) and I've seen it work for my uncle Abe and my cousin Noah. They dropped weight like a hot potato! 

Me? 

Ummmmmm..... 

I haven't noticed ANY changes, and I don't think anyone else has. You may say.... "Hey Arin, why don't you weigh yourself and track your progress?" And I say, "Good question, reader. I have a scale, but it tells everyone that they're 180 lbs." You can imagine my discouragement when my brother, Zack (2 years older and 8'' taller than I), told me that we weigh the same. 

Great =/

I don't have another scale, and I don't have access to one. So if I have lost weight, I don't know about it, which I think should be a crime. BUT like most people, I try not to go by the numbers on the scale; real results show in how your clothes fit. Right? There have been no changes.

I feel like all this discipline is in vain, and although I see mood changes (random fits of rage followed by depression followed by extreme cravings for beef), I don't see physical changes. For a minute, I felt like quitting and celebrating my failure with twin pumpkin doughnuts from my friendly, neighborhood Dunkin' Donuts, and maybe a bowl of cheese grits as a chaser!

But I decided against quitting, and faithfully, I moved into phase 2. I'm happier now that I can eat fruit and some carbs, and I have a lot more energy. Hopefully, I will lose some weight because I have a goal to meet...... I need to look like Jessica Biel before December 17 2008.

Do not question my motives, reader! Because I've learned a lot during these painful two weeks. I learned that I do have will power. I now know that I need a new scale. I learned that it's almost impossible for me not to think about bread, and that ice cream made with Splenda IS real! and it's darn delicious, especially right from the carton. 

I'll be sure to post my progress (or lack thereof) while on phase 2. Hopefully, soon I'll get to say that I weigh less than my big brother!!! 

Hooray.

 *I have not asked my father for permission to vacation in Miami with Micah and Ashton. I'm sorry this is the way I'm asking you Dad. But can I please go to Miami with Micah and Ashton????